I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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