Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize