Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
