Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
