There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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