Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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