I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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