Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
