Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
