we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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