just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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