brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
