Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize