Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
