Please, let me fuck your mom
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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