adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
