shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize