it was like his penis was on wheels.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
