you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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