Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just tell him i said nine months
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
