Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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