I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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