Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
