she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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