He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
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He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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