WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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