That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
