He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
