You just made me feel so damn special
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
