There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
