im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
worst night to have a conscience
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize