You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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