Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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