Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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