My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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