yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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