come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
