I hate your face
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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