As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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