Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
