I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
