My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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