so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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