someone threw a dead crab at me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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