This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
