Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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