Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
