I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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