Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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