Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
