new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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