Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
