is wine microwaveable?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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