I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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