I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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