I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
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all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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